Becoming Happier

I came home from Colorado with a lot of clarity. Leila, my dearest bestie from high school, had a birthday celebration for three whole days surrounded by so many friends, so much beauty from the mountains and open skies, and lots of joy. I truly felt so embraced by her community. And then I came home, and I cried, a lot. Young twenties is a weird age range where you either really have it together, or you really don’t. And not having it together and not having people to do life with is rough.

So, I have discovered this...

I am most happy being surrounded by people even if I am quiet and introverted and seem to be having just an o-k time. Internally, I am soaking up all of the love. When I am alone a majority of the time, I am extremely unhappy, my thoughts run a mile a minute about what I am doing wrong to be alone and what I need to improve but then I hit a wall and get stuck.

I am unhappy. Truly, I have been for a while now. Don’t worry, there is nothing to fear about my well being for my life. I am just stating facts about where I am mentally right now.

I came home from Colorado determined to work on my happiness. There are a lot of factors that are playing into this that I won’t get into but I am so excited.

I have learned that I am young, I deserve to be selfish and to find new hobbies, create new friendships, and actually have a social life. This is all so hard when I am such a work driven person.

I am a people pleaser. I am so loyal. I know these are traits people strive for, but you cannot get much success and happiness from this if it’s just holding you back. I am learning to cut ties here and there to make time for myself. Time alone, time with friends, time for hobbies, time for my faith. I haven’t been to church in at least over six months. That breaks my heart.

So, here is to a new page in my life where I say no more to obligations that can wait. And here’s to saying yes more to happiness.

Side Note: I have been thinking and praying about selling prints! Would you be interested? Let me know.

...and here is a random mix of the few photos I took in Colorado on my camera!